Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Chat about a loaded subject that no one wants to speak about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on since the beginning of the world. Affairs can be burdened with troubles, cause heartache, and other harms. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, finances, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, guilt, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should identify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, married woman date.
Why do people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are women seeking affairs. I think generally though it is just the human state, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and loved. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Physically we as humans are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us flee the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Someone are able to turn the desire on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These desires and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos people has erected against married dating. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their worries and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society also. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is awfully good, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically driven sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anyone else? You would need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, gigantic really. There are many couples whose marriage is over, but they are happy in the way they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Then there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to be together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them implementing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An extra-marital affair at times solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Neglect, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, as a rule the male is sexually neglecting his spouse for a tones of reasons. As a male I actually am grateful to you guys neglecting your wives and making them available to us men of romance, making them “milfs” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Maybe its romance that is missing, could be it is a lack of love, maybe caring is not here, could be it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply developed apart, our ordinary concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The first reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.